Shattered Mom

Feeling beyond helpless, I could feel our dear Lorenzo was very quiet and lonely about something, I didn’t even know about what, much less what to do about it. When asked, he himself could not explain the pain he battled inside.

“For the Lord will not reject forever, For if He causes grief, Then He will have compassion according to His abundant loving kindness.”

Lamentations 3:31-32

When he was little, I could carry and hold him until he felt better, and knew he was happy again. It was all pure and innocent. But he was 16 years old, and those mommy hugs time were no longer effective. I desperately wanted to rescue him, ease his pain, but I was hindered by the need for his own space and privacy.

Like so many teenagers, he faced intense disappointments, hurts, challenges, and temptations. It's not easy to be a young adult in this day we live in.

Helpless. All I could do was to kneel down and pray, a crying-out loud prayer, “Lord, please help him, fill his heart with Your love and faith so there will be no space for doubts and darkness. Call him again to serve You with joy in his heart".

Everday, his dad and I lay awake at night, calling out to God on his behalf. We prayed for protection, strength, and courage for him. It was not all up to us to keep his heart safe and his body sound. He has our heavenly Father who knows and loves him more than we ever could. Trusting the Lord to touch our son where we couldn’t reach.

His plan for our family is beyond what we could fathom. God has called him back home too soon, and we cannot refuse. All we could do is to continue to pray for his mercy and eternal peace.

May love, hope, and faith fill the void in our hearts as we are down to three.