My 5th book from his shelf: All the Bright Places

"I’m broken, and no one can fix it. I’ve tried. I’m still trying. I can’t love anyone because it’s not fair to anyone who loves me back." -Theodore Finch

Title: All the Bright Places   

Author: Jennifer Niven

Publisher: Penguin             

First Publication: 2015

Genre: Contemporary Romance, Young Adult

Language: English   

Major Characters: Theodore Finch, Violet Markey

Setting Place: Indiana, USA

Theme: Mental Illness, Guilt and Blame, Hopes and Dreams

Narration: First Person / Finch and Violet

Synopsis: 

The story is about two opposite teenagers Theodore Finch and Violet Markey. They are unlikely friends who chance to meet on the ledge of their school’s bell tower and give both another day to live. 

Today, ten days before my ahya Enzo’s 18th birthday I have finished the 5th book from his collection, All Bright Places. I had a hard time finishing the novel. Every turn of pages was heart-wrenching. I can’t help but see him in Theodore Finch. The story is real to me and it did bring me back to the days when I could not connect with him.

I am recommending this book to those who knew and love my Enzo. Somehow, I hope this will make you understand him better and forgive him for leaving you abruptly. He did not mean any harm nor hurt you.

One thing I am assured, he was loved and his demon was something we could not see. He was not abused in any way and yet he felt he did not deserve all the love he was receiving. I have failed him, we all failed him but that doesn’t mean we did not care. It humbles me to know that I have no control over his illness or his days with us. 

All the Bright Places is a remarkable story of love, friendship, and dealing with loss and suffering. It offers an in-depth and honest insight into an individual's mental health issues and how they are perceived by others. It also exhibits the lack of awareness of our society to undiagnosed mental illness and the stigma associated with mental health. Finch tries to conceal his condition, naming his manic and depressive episodes the "awake" and the "asleep". The flow of his extreme mood change, from euphoric to depressed and vexed, signifies his afflictions and the need to seek help. 

As mentioned, I found myself strangely connected to Finch. I see my dear Enzo in his character. Finch’s side of the story reminded me of his manic mood swings, and how I prayed every day for him to get back to his happy self, witty and lively. It’s a constant up-and-down roller-coaster emotion, and how I wish we see him through his real struggles and not just a difficult and complicated teenager.

Finch is also fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he will kill himself. But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him. While Violet could not let go of her grief in the wake of her sister’s recent death. She lives for the future, counting the days until graduation when she can escape Indiana and return to California. 

Finch and Violet paired up on a project to discover the ‘natural wonders’ of Indiana. Their partnership project turned into a beautiful friendship. Finch pushed Violet to a world of happiness she had long forgotten about. And Violet discovers a side of him that nobody else has seen before, adventurous, spontaneous, and mysterious not as a freak and dangerous lad at school. But as Violet started to bloom, Finch continued to wither.

"The fact is, I was sick, but not in an easily explained flu kind of way. It's my experience that people are a lot more sympathetic they can see you hurting, and for the millionth time in my life I wish for measles or smallpox or some other recognizable disease just to make it simple for me and also for them." -Theodore Finch

Oftentimes, mental illness remains undiagnosed because the person suffering is too confused and ashamed to speak up. He could not put into words the torment he is experiencing as there is no concrete reason why he is in pain. I can’t blame him, it could have been easier if his symptoms can be recognized with our senses. Nor can I blame his loved ones either for failing to or choosing not to see the signs. When it comes to our loved ones, we prefer to choose and assume the best. We could not see from the outside the box.

What makes “All the Bright Places” appealing to all ages is the subtle way the author discussed depression and suicide with seriousness, realism, and hope as she ends her novel with Violet continuing on with their class project without Finch. I believe, this kind of story can encourage a conversation on depression and suicide with empathy and understanding.

“Which of my feelings are real? Which of the mess is me? There is only one me I’ve ever really liked, and he was good and awake as long as he could be.” -Theodore Finch