Hello Potchie

The year 2021 was the most dreadful, we lost loved ones not only once. My son, Enzo, passed away in January due to depression, and our fur babies, Marcus (dog), Jerry and Flurry (guinea pigs) to summer heat stroke. And before the year ends, my mom lost her battle to cancer. The nightmare I feared most became my reality. I changed. I lost sight of life. I made smiling a task that needs to be completed. I became an expert on smiling to repel sympathetic and unfavorable gazes. I am blessed to have a supportive and loving family, James and Vito, they are my constant, my reason to find new joy. In time, I start to look at life from a new perspective and grasp tightly onto our faith. They are my strength and they push me continuously to move forward. I learned to appreciate life and death.

It was April 9, 2022. New Year, new dreams, and new family member. After Enzo and fur babies’ 1st-year Angelversay, we adopted Potchie, a 7-month-old Jack Russel Terrier. I fell in love with her immediately. And I think my boys too but did not want to reinforce it to me as they are jealous of all the time and affection I am giving to Potchie. It is only fair as she is helping us to heal through our brokenness. She is a fresh start on my gloomy morning.

One time, Potchie caught a sight of herself in the whole body mirror by the side of our bedroom cabinet. First, she was startled to find another dog in the house. She stared and barked at her reflection. We all burst out laughing. Then I realized, it was the first time I’d spontaneously laughed. It was genuine, no guilt attached, and it felt warm.

She amazed me every time she can make us laugh by just being present in the room. She is there for me when I am feeling down, and she knows exactly what to do when I am upset or depressed. She will lie down next in front of me and stare at me with her huge, round puppy eyes, waiting for me to cuddle her and cry on her furry body. She will not leave my side until my mood is lightened and lifted.

There are times when I wish Enzo had met Potchie. Maybe, she will be able to distract him from his inner turmoil with her energy and affection. But it was just for me to wonder. I think Potchie is sent to us as part of our healing, to see there is more to love in the world Enzo left behind.