Friday, 01142022

Almighty Father, thank you even if it hurts big time... even if I don't understand.

James and I had a heartfelt moment. Once again, he rescued me from my meltdown. I've been in the abyss for a week now. He helped me to pause and reflect. Grief doesn't magically end and triggers are scattered everywhere to bring back the pain of loss.

He reminded me that God was been faithful from the very beginning. We are blessed to have had a loving and joyful 16 years with Enzo. He asked me to focus on all the things he had accomplished, the lives he touched, the services he made, and the kids he loved and cared for in his very little time in the world. Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6-7)

When Enzo had his 1st episode of depression, I surrender everything to God. Not a single day we have not prayed for Enzo to get back to his old self, be happy again, and serve Him with gladness. We patiently waited for His answer to our prayers. And He did, God called him back home to serve Him by His side. I was devastated by His answer but who am I to question His will and wisdom. He loves Enzo more than we love him. It is His grace that made Enzo perfectly worthy of a place beside Him. No more pain and more joy, no more weakness and more strength... Finally, the end of his frustration and the beginning of God's fulfillment.

The God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. (1 Peter 5:9-10)